


Justice for Him

by MadMax17



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Fade, Friendship, Grey Warden - Freeform, Hugs, Kisses, Talking, emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 09:53:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8139745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadMax17/pseuds/MadMax17
Summary: Justice is perplexed by the memories he gets from Kristoff and the Warden Commander offers to help him talk through them.





	

“Justice you've been awful quiet today,” Tavren said softly, so only the spirit could hear. Justice look at him distantly. “Ever since we came back from talking with Aura.”  
Justice looked down at his hands thoughtfully. “I suppose I have been.”  
The smaller elf clicked his tongue and thought for a moment before grabbing Justice by the arm gently. “Come with me,” he said softly.  
“Where are we going?” the spirit asked.  
“Somewhere we can talk,” was the only response he got and he remained silent as he was dragged through the keep to the battlements. He looked toward the sky where the moons shone brightly. The Commander stopped suddenly and dropped Justice’s arm.  
“What did you want to speak about Commander?” he asked.  
“Just as formal as ever I see,” the small elf smiled softly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear. “I wonder if that's how you talked in the Fade.”  
“I speak as I always have,” he said. “But that is not why we are here.”  
Tavren sighed. “What's wrong?” Justice looked out into the night and said nothing. “Maybe I can help.”  
“You cannot help one battle with their nature,” he said softly.  
He chuckled and said, “try me. It has something to do with Aura, yes?”  
Justice sighed softly and refused to look at the commander. “I find myself envious of their love,” he said. “But I cannot be, for envy is something demons feel, and I am no demon.” He said the last part softly, as if to himself.  
“Ah, I think I understand now,” Tavren said and set a gentle hand on Justice’s arm. “It's not wrong to want something like that.”  
“Isn't it?” Justice asked. “Demons were once spirits, perverted from their purpose by their desires. If I want this enough, could I not become a demon?”  
“No,” he said firmly. “You still have your purpose, remember?”  
Justice thought back to the vow he had made to Kristoff’s wife in the chantry. “I suppose so, but-”  
“No,” Tavren said, staring hard into Justice’s eyes. “You are in the mortal world now, it makes sense that all of this would be confusing. I mean, it confuses me and I've been here since I was born.”  
Justice frowned and looked down at the ring on his forefinger, no, Kristoff’s forefinger, a hand and body that wasn't his, a world he shouldn't know. “I do not think I belong here,” he said softly.  
“Well, you don't,” Tavren before quickly continuing. “I'm being honest, you don't. But, now that you're here, I think you should take advantage of it.”  
“And how do you propose I do that?”  
Tavren placed a finger to his lips thoughtfully and Justice stared. “First off, don't think that every emotion you feel is wrong. You're a part of this world and everything revolves around emotions,” he said, stepping closer to Justice, his face shining. “Secondly, understand that we are all happy to have you here, even if you chose to leave, you'll always have a place here.”  
Justice looked at him surprised. “Why would I leave?” he whispered.  
The commander shrugged a bit. “I don't know, because there's a big world out there that needs exploring,” he laughed. “And Anders threatens to leave almost daily.”  
Justice smiled a bit. “I do not want to leave, I still have a mission here.”  
“And we are happy to have you here as long as you'd like to remain,” he beamed up at Justice. “Anyway, I had more to say. Honestly, I understand things may be overwhelming for you, just know that I'm here for you whenever you need it,” he said happily, bouncing a bit.  
“Why would I need you?” Justice asked, frowning.  
Tavren’s face fell before he took a deep breath and looked at the spirit patiently. “Usually, when someone's feeling overwhelmed or tired or something like that, they will speak about how they feel with a friend,” he said.  
“How do you speak of something you do not understand?” Justice asked, looking away from the elf.  
Tavren ran a hand through his hair, pulling some strands from the braid before cursing softly and undoing it. As he combed through the blonde locks with his fingers he said, “just say whatever come to your mind first. Like right now, what are you thinking?”  
“I am thinking about how strange all you mortals are,” he said softly. “Talking doesn't fix problems.”  
“No it doesn't,” he said. “But it helps you think through a tough subject a bit better. It makes it a bit easier when it's said out loud.”  
Justice frowned. “This is very confusing.”  
Tavren laughed a bit. “Yes it is. So what are you thinking now?”  
The spirit looked back at the elf, blonde forming a soft halo around his head. “I think your hair is a lovely shade,” he said, reaching out and touching a lock of it gently while frowning. “And soft.”  
“That's a start,” Tavren said smiling. “And about Aura?”  
Justice lowered his hand and stared at it, confused. “Her and Kristoff had loved each other deeply, an emotion that is foreign to me,” he said softly. “The magnitude of it was nearly overwhelming.”  
Tavren sighed gently. “It sounds like it must have been wonderful.”  
“It was,” Justice whispered.  
Tavren touched the spirit’s arm gently. “What else?”  
“I do not understand why he would subject himself to something like this,” he said, clenching his hands into fists. “He knew that it would one day end, why was he willing to suffer that?”  
Tavren remained silent for awhile. “We are willing to hurt for years if it means we can feel good for but a moment,” he said softly. Justice looked at him, surprised. “I apologize, my friend,” Tavren said, bowing slightly. “We can talk more tomorrow, however I have business to attend to. Excuse me.”  
Justice bowed as the elf hastily departed and looked down at Kristoff’s hand, frowning.

 

Tavren sat on the edge of the ramparts, legs dangling into open air, his wet hair blowing back with the cold wind. He'd invited Justice to talk again tonight like they had done for a few weeks now, but in truth it was the elf who had needed a friend to confide in this time. He considered nearly everyone here as such, but something about Justice made him feel more secure, like he wouldn't be judged, ironic as it may sound.  
“Commander,” a soft voice said behind him. Looking back, he smiled as the spirit walked up. “Is there a particular reason you invited me out here tonight?”  
Tavren shrugged a bit and laughed shakily. “I figured you might need to...talk again,” he said. He ran a trembling hand through his damp hair and hugged his knees to his chest.  
“I do not think I have anything to discuss,” he said, bowing. “If you'll excu-”  
“Wait!” Tavren said, hurriedly grabbing his friend's hand, who looked at him with wide eyes. “I um...I mean…”  
Justice kneeled beside the elf. “Is something wrong, Commander?” he asked softly. “I will do as you offered for me and listen if you have something you wish to speak of, if that will help you.”  
Tavren hugged his legs tightly, looking off into the dark sky. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he hid his face in his knees.  
Justice sat beside the slim form, their bodies pressed close together. “What is wrong, Commander?”  
“C-can you call me by my name, please?” he asked shakily.  
Justice frowned. “If that is your wish.”  
Tavren wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. “Today's the anniversary,” he said softly, refusing to look at the person beside him.  
“Of what, Tavren?” he asked.  
“My friend, Tamlen, he...today he…” the small elf rested his forehead on his knees again and sobbed quietly, his body shaking.  
Justice wasn't quite sure what to do and searched through what he had of Kristoff’s memories to see if there was something he could do to aid his friend. He got a fragment of a scene with Aura crying in much the same way Tavren was and Kristoff wrapping his arms around her, holding her to his chest.  
Justice reached a gentle arm around the small set of shoulders and was surprised when the commander collapsed onto his chest, clutching him desperately. “Oh Creators, I'm so sorry Tamlen,” he sobbed. “I'm so sorry, there was so much I could have-” He cut himself off and pressed his hands to his mouth, silencing any sounds.  
Justice gently patted his friend's back, and tried humming like Kristoff had with Aura. Slowly, but surely, Tavren calmed and sat back.  
“I'm so sorry,” he said, wiping his eyes and Justice looked down at himself, missing the feeling of a warm body against his own. “I don't know why...I'm sorry.”  
“It is alright,” he said softly. “I am unaccustomed to emotions, however, I believe that was grief.” Tavren nodded. “May I hear what happened to this Tamlen?”  
The commander took a deep breathe before he spoke with a shaky voice. “We had happened upon a mirror,” he said, laughing bitterly. “A bloody mirror, and it ruined our lives.”  
“How?”  
“You understand why a Great Warden is special, yes?” he asked. “The taint and all that.”  
Justice nodded and absentmindedly played with a stray lock of Tavren’s hair.  
“The mirror, somehow it had the taint. Me and my friend,” he swallowed thickly. “We had found a cave with the mirror and we...we released the taint. Me and him got sick.”  
“If I understand correctly, the taint is deadly,” he said softly.  
“Yes, unless you become a Grey Warden,” Tavren said. “But we couldn't find Tamlen. I looked for a week before Duncan said I had to leave if I wanted to get my cure in time. I hadn't cared, I wanted to look for him forever.”  
“Who was Duncan?” Justice asked, frowning.  
“The man who found me,” he said, looking at his hands. “Anyway, we couldn't find Tamlen, so I had to try my best to believe he was dead, I had to hope he was.”  
“Why did you wish him death?” Justice asked, dropping his hand from Tavren’s hair.  
“It would have been better than suffering with the taint,” he said, covering his face. “But wishful thinking didn't save Tamlen. Eventually, I found him, or rather he found me.”  
“That is good, yes? You could give him the cure then,” Justice said, looking at the commander hopefully. The poor soul, he had suffered enough, he deserved something, anything good.  
He sobbed softly before clearing his throat and speaking roughly. “He was too far gone, he barely had any sense of self left. He barely remembered me and I...I begged him to let me try to heal him but...he knew it wouldn't work. He asked me to...to kill him, he said he didn't want to hurt me.”  
“What happened to him?”  
“I killed him,” he whispered. “I was the one who plunged my blade into his heart and held him until he passed. I buried him and held a proper funeral, and I finally mourned him properly.”  
Justice remained silent for a long time, part of him angry that the commander had killed someone he clearly cared about, but another part sad at the fact that it had to be that way.  
“How do mortals mourn their fallen?” he asked.  
“I don't know about humans or dwarves,” Tavren said softly. “But with the Dalish, we return the body to the earth and plant a tree for them. And we wear white.” He touched a satin band he kept on his wrist gently. “I don't think I'll ever stop mourning, honestly. We had known each other since we were young. Wed get in so much trouble together.”  
Justice rested a hand on the white band softly. “I do not know what one says in this situation, so may I speak my mind?”  
Tavren stiffened a bit but nodded.  
“I believe you did what you had to,” he said running a gentle finger over the soft fabric. “And I believe it still causes you great grief. However, it was a mercy, it would have been much worse for him had you not done it.”  
Tavren nodded and wiped his eyes. “I know, that doesn't make it easier though.”  
“In my short time in the mortal realm, I have felt many emotions,” he said. “I have seen many acts of horror and mercy, it has been confusing to say the least. But, there is one thing I have taken from all this, and it is that nothing is ever easy.”  
He chuckled a bit. “You know, the longer you're here the more you seem to understand all of this, I'm glad.”  
Justice looked at the damp cheeks of the warden commander and traced the trails of his tears with a gentle finger. “I do not understand all of them,” he said softly.  
“Like what?” Tavren asked. “Perhaps I can help.”  
“Perhaps,” Justice whispered. “In this body remains the memories of times Kristoff sought comfort from his wife, and when that happened she would…” he trailed off.  
“She would what?” Tavren asked, tilting his head a bit, causing his long hair to fall over his shoulder.  
Justice placed a gentle finger to Tavren’s lips. “She touched these, with her own.”  
The small elf looked at the sky thoughtfully. “I suppose she would.”  
“Is that how mortals comfort each other?” he asked.  
“Not always,” Tavren said, running a hand through his hair. “Usually that's only if...you care for someone a great deal.”  
“I care for you a great deal, Tavren,” he said and the elf shivered at the way his name was whispered into his pointed ear.  
“That's not what I...Justice I think you're confused,” he said.  
“What do you mean?”  
Tavren sighed. “What Kristoff and Aura had was a different kind of-”  
Justice placed his lips gently against Tavren’s and shuddered at the feeling, the feeling was certainly something special. The small elf tensed before moving his lips slowly, causing more and more sensation to radiate through Justice’s very being, small explosions on his skin.  
He could feel the soft breath against his face, felt the minute pulses of the elf’s heartbeat as he ran a hand over the slim neck and into his hair. The soft locks that ran through his fingers glowed in the moonlight. The slim frame pressed up against his chest was warm and solid and real, something he would never have gotten in the fade, something that Kristoff had felt when alive and he got to feel now.  
Tavren pulled back but laid his forehead against Justice’s chest, breathing a bit harder than before. The spirit was sure he could hear the elf’s heartbeat as he gently placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing the soft patch of skin.  
“I apologize,” he said softly. “This was not something I had planned it simply...felt necessary.”  
Tavren nodded but didn't speak, afraid his voice would fail him, too many emotions and thoughts running through his head, too many images and memories replaying over and over.  
“I won't do it again Commander, I-”  
“Tavren,” the elf corrected softly.  
“Tavren,” he whispered. “I apologize for angering you.”  
“I'm not angry,” he said gently, still refusing to look at Justice. “I have simply...never done that.”  
“Neither have I,” he said. “Though Kristoff’s memories are vague, I believe he did that quite often. I do not believe it is only something one does for comfort.”  
“It is not,” Tavren said quietly.  
“Would it upset you if I did it again, another time?” Justice asked. “The feeling was perplexing just enjoyable, I would very much like to do it again.”  
Tavren looked up at Justice, whose eyes glowed softly. “I...do not see there being a problem with that,” he whispered.  
Justice smiled gently. “I am glad.”  
They sat together for a long while, until the warden commander began dozing off against the spirit’s chest and was carried to bed.  
Shutting the door softly, Justice placed his fingers against his lips and smiling softly.  
It really was a perplexing feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea a literal hour ago and I know I have to post it now or I'll end up deleting it. Just an idea I got while replaying DAO: Awakening and talking with Justice. Let me know what you think.   
> What even are tags, I was so tired I had no idea what to put.


End file.
